Lincolnite

In her column this morning, Nancy Hicks let us know that StarTran will soon replace a chain link fence at the bus stop at 11th and N with something more attractive. That sounds great, except for one thing: why is there a fence in the first place? As you can see, the existing fence isn't particularly attractive. But more importantly, it's not at all clear what purpose the fence serves. I suppose it's intended to have some sort of "corralling" effect, as well as to provide a visual cue differentiating "this" space from "that" space. The visual component is somewhat justifiable, although trying to accomplish it with a chain link fence is hilariously misguided. The corralling, on the other hand, is offensive and dehumanizing. Considering what many Lincolnites think about the average bus rider I guess that's not surprising. Given StarTran's public image and financial troubles, does replacing the fence make any sense whatsoever? Without an obvious and imminent need I don't see how it does. StarTran has oodles of needs and wants. A fence without a purpose hardly seems worth the fuss. Sure, the money is (mostly) coming from the Federal Transit Administration, but one would hope that other projects more directly related to transportation or passenger comfort would likewise be eligible for FTA funds. For example: take a look at the shelters in the above photo and elsewhere around town. A little money could do them a lot of good. This is precisely the sort of project that gets people riled up about government waste. A government entity built an apparently unnecessary fence that violates the entity's own rules, then compounds the problem by taking it out and replacing it with something even more expensive and equally unnecessary. It's pretty tough to blame folks for being frustrated about something like that.

Keishor starts first grade today at Elm Street Schoolhouse. I was in Mrs. Rolsmeyer's class back in first grade at Calvert Elementary. I showed up on the first day with bandages covering both hands from surgery I had undergone a week or so prior. In first grade I learned how to spell "together" thanks to a classmate's tip that it's just a combination of the words to, get, and her. I learned the song "Down By the Bay". The Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. Robbie starts second grade today at Elm Street Schoolhouse. I had Ms. Cramer for second grade. She laughed because when I drew a tree, I had to draw every single branch and every single leaf. I was the only one in class to correctly complete the worksheet that said at the top, "Read and follow ALL directions before beginning". I learned that the word "number" could also mean "song". I dressed up as Mr. Popper in the book parade, leading a flock of penguins down 46th Street. Joey starts fifth grade today at Zeman Elementary. I had Mrs. Dasenbrock for fifth grade. She loved guinea pigs and she cried when our class guinea pig died. We had a brand new, air conditioned classroom thanks to a massive remodel of the school. I started trumpet lessons, starting me on a path that would eventually lead to me meeting the future Mrs. Wilson. I won the Calvert Chess Tournament by beating a sixth grader in four minutes. I can't wait to see what memories my boys make this year. Happy first day of school everybody!

Why did a skinned squirrel appear in my yard overnight? That's the surreal question I've been trying to answer over the past hour or so. I found the remains of a squirrel in the back portion of my yard. I'll spare you the photos unless you're really interested and want to see a couple (Photo 1, Photo 2). I'm baffled. So far I've come up with a number of possible explanations. My favorite blames the Perseid meteor shower. I figure a small space rock smashed into this guy so hard that it turned him inside out. Sounds plausible, right? No? OK, then how about electrocution. I found this guy below a powerline. Perhaps he was zapped with such force that his skin popped off. You're right, neither of those is probably correct. That leaves human action of some sort. That's where I get baffled. Was this a drive-by squirreling? If so, whoever did it has a heck of an arm. Maybe a neighbor was casually skinning the squirrel in his back yard when he sneezed and the squirrel went flying. What a way to lose your dinner. Or perhaps this is the Lincolnite equivalent of the Godfatherian horse head. I'm not sure who I ticked off or what I did to deserve a squirrel, though. Maybe my neighbor still holds a grudge from a couple years ago when people working in my yard massacred a couple of his bushes. Or maybe this guy finally trapped a squirrel and he wanted to show off his trophy. Whatever brought the squirrel to my yard, I just want to say thank you. Breakfast was delicious. How has your morning gone so far?

It may not be a fun topic to think about, but it's time to ponder what we're going to do with all the trash we generate. Sure, we've got a nice place to pile it that isn't doing too bad right now. But eventually that pile is going to run out of room. What then? Enter the Lincoln-Lancaster County Solid Waste Plan 2040. It's actually not a "plan" at this point, but rather a plan to come up with a plan that will guide future policy. That may sound redundant, but it's a necessary step in what will likely be a lengthy and non-trivial process. It's not as simple say saying, for example, When our current landfill is full, just start a new one somewhere else. Well, I suppose it could be that simple. We could save ourselves headaches over the long-term by not taking such a naive approach. This planning process is where the rumors originated that Lincoln was going to "require" recycling -- with the implication being that Mayor Beutler himself would sort through your trash can and scold you if he found recyclables. That's not an option on the table right now. Instead, Lincoln could, say, require garbage hauling companies to offer recycling services as part of their regular pick-up schedule. Or we could require those same companies to bundle recycling services into their lowest service tier, whether a particular customer wants it or not. In that scenario everybody would subsidize recycling efforts, bringing the overall cost down but jacking up everybody's bills in the process. We don't have to stop at recyclables, either. Lincoln could begin curbside composting efforts, perhaps as a requirement but more likely as an optional service. That would mean that your styrofoam, your paper, and your banana peels would each have separate bins. The goal of all of this is of course to reduce the amount of waste going into our landfill so that we take as long as possible before moving into a new one. It's the ecologically, morally, and fiscally sound thing to do. Not that everyone will see it that way, of course. But then, that's what the planning process is all about. There's an open house on August 13 and several other opportunities to provide your feedback. The sooner you get involved, the better.

Sorry belly floppers, but a competition just for you at Mahoney State Park has been cancelled for "safety reasons". Lame! Or is it? How many of you who grew up in Lincoln heard the urban legend about the mythical "fourth platform" at Woods Pool? The story went that there used to be a significantly higher diving platform, but it was removed after a girl jumped off, did a belly flop, and her belly split open, spilling her innards into the pool? Gory, I know, but we elementary schoolers ate that stuff up. The story made the rounds every summer swimming season. Needless to say, it provided all the support I needed to restrict my jumps to the lower boards. Apparently these days the pool has to worry about impacts of another kind. Warning: do not try this at your local pool.

I have a difficult time understanding the mentality of people who sue over things that are, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, isolated accidents. Today's lawsuit: two women are suing separate Olive Gardens because they got sick after eating there. In this case the sicknesses don't even appear to have been caused by shortcomings at either restaurant; the tainted lettuce was apparently contaminated when it arrived. I guess Olive Garden should have boiled all the lettuce before serving it. Coincidentally, I got a stomach bug after eating at Olive Garden a few years ago. (To be clear, I don't know for certain that Olive Garden was the source of the illness. But at the time I ate very little meat; I ate chicken at Olive Garden; and the critter that infected me is strongly associated with poultry.) I can't imagine suing over something of that nature. If there were evidence of gross negligence, sure. But there wasn't. According to the Health Department mine was the only recorded incident around that time, and there was no evidence to suggest that my food was mishandled or improperly cooked. I'm all for holding people accountable, but let's face it: sometimes shit (literally) happens. Surely we can handle these simple issues without bogging down the courts.

Twenty-some years ago, working at Hy-Vee seemed like the cool thing to do. I knew several kids who worked there and they all seemed to enjoy their jobs. They got plenty of hours, the working conditions were nice, and they were paid well. ("Well" being a relative term here.) Oh, and Hy-Vee seemed like a much better place to work than the other hotspot for young employees: Amigos. I never did get that job at Hy-Vee, but over the years I've always had a positive impression about how they handle youngsters on the job. I don't know how old you have to be to have a job at Hy-Vee these days, but I know that they used to hire pretty young -- 14, I think. That was great for kids who needed money or who wanted job experience. Given Hy-Vee's experience with youth workers, I was pretty surprised to see that they were fined by the Department of Labor for allowing youth to perform "hazardous" jobs. You'd think they'd have enough experience to avoid that kind of thing. Youth employees are often on my mind because a favorite eatery of mine allows children to help out with tasks like clearing tables and even taking orders. They do a good job and I wholeheartedly support their presence in the business because of the lessons they're learning, and because their constant smiles suggest they're having fun. However I constantly fear that the restaurant will get in trouble for the kids' work. I know labor regulations are strict about this sort of thing. That's why I'm not mentioning the eatery's name. Then again, the kids' presence isn't exactly subtle. If the eatery has ever been inspected, surely they would have gotten in trouble if there were a problem. Perhaps the rules aren't quite as harsh as I thought. I wonder how many situations like that exist around town. I can't think of too many off the top of my head -- a restaurant here, a salon there. Perhaps I should get my boys started in the web development business. I could have my own little sweat shop development studio right here in the basement. Hmm...

I mentioned last week that on September 28 I will participate in Walk Now for Autism Speaks on behalf of my nephew, Sam. That event takes place at Haymarket Park. (Donations welcome!) This morning I learned that the autism walk isn't the only event in the area on that Saturday. The Lincoln Industries Cycling Classic is going to take place on the same day, and nearby at the Arena. That could make for an interesting clash of activity, depending on how many people show up for each event and where their respective routes go. I hope the organizers are in contact with one another. On the plus side, it's a sign that people are excited by all the activity going on in the Haymarket area. That's great as long as everybody can share.

I'm a really crummy yard-keeper, but earlier this summer I put in some plants with the goal of attracting butterflies and bees. It's always nice to see my work being appreciated.

Tom Casady posted a cool little analysis on his blog last week in which he demonstrated just how concentrated crime is in Lincoln. Before you go read it, though, take a guess at this. What percent of crime in 2012 occurred on 5% of Lincoln's street segments? Is it: A) 33% B) 52% C) 81% D) 95%. As it turns out, 5% of Lincoln's street segments were responsible for an impressive 81% of crime. And 1% were responsible for 41%. That's some pretty concentrated naughtiness. These data raise myriad questions. I can't even begin to ask them all here. One that jumps out at me, though, is how 2012's data compare to data from other years. Wouldn't it be cool, for example, to see how crime concentration has evolved? Perhaps back in 1980 5% of the street segments were only responsible for 40% of the crime. Or maybe it was 90% back then. Or maybe the numbers actually don't change all that much. Any of those scenarios is interesting to me. It's probably a good thing I'm not a grad student with access to the data and mapping tools that Casady has. I'd wind up creating umpteen million maps and not actually getting any work done.

Some really crazy and insane zombies this year at the Lincoln Zombie Walk 2013. Kudos to the organizers and participants for this cool community event!