Mr. T Vents

By: Mr. Wilson on January 6, 2005
Mr. T sent me this e-mail Tuesday night:
Subject: fantastic city we live in I would like to know what Mr Lincoln and the readers think of that law which bans parking on residential streets for more than 24 hours at a time. Why? Because I got fined yet again by the city for keeping my car parked and stationary on the street for longer than a 24 hour period. The law itself as a concept and what it is intended to do is one issue. The 24 hour time length another. And snow emergencies can cut both ways. Needless to say I spent about 25+ min chipping off the ice from my car and was forced to drive on the icy streets so as not to get fined again. IN fact I had the car turned on to defrost the windows so long prior to actually driving that the fuel in my gas tank (which was low) actually burnt up enough that the low fuel light came on! Funny how excessive fuel consumption and pollution and dependence on oil are recognized as majpr problems by our society. What contributes to these problems? Well apparently in Lincoln its illegal NOT to drive!!!!! And if youre elderly, sick, and/or homebound, a renter who cant afford a garage or paid parking space, or just prefer to WALK to work (God forbid!!!!!) and not spend money on GAS, I guess you are SCREWED!!!!!!
Obviously Mr. T is not a happy camper. Some quick comments:
  • I'm not sure where the 24 hour time limit comes from. It seems excessively short to me. A 72 hour limit is much more appropriate in my opinion. Perhaps this issue deserves some further analysis.
  • Mr. T lives -- I think -- in an "Even/Odd" neighborhood. Methinks he should better plan his on-street parking choices when snow is imminent.
  • To say it's "illegal not to drive" in Lincoln is a bit of emotional hyperbole. It's illega l to obstruct the city's snow-removal efforts, whether with a vehicle or otherwise.
  • Mr. T's point about those who cannot (or choose not to) drive is important. But their inability to get around the city begins long before snow causes troubles. It is pretty darn difficult to get around Lincoln without a vehicle even in fair weather. Snow (and ice, etc.) merely exaggerates the problem.

Oh no, Bo!

By: Mr. Wilson on January 5, 2005
In light of Oklahoma's Orange Bowl 55-19 drubbing last night by USC, I wonder: How will the Church of Bo respond? The Church of Bo, for those of you who don't know, are those who think Bo Pelini can do no wrong. He was the greatest defensive coordinator ever for the Huskers in 2003, he would have made a far greater head coach than Bill Callahan, Oklahoma would be unbeatable with Bo on their sideline, yadda yadda yadda. Seeing their man's defense give up 55 points is a bit like Catholics finding out the Pope has 16 wives and a pool boy on the side. Talk about disillusionment. The pro-Bo folks have some lines up their sleeves, of course. Many of the points came off turnovers, for example. But they can't use those lines. Well, not if they want to maintain any sense of integrity, anyway. After all, the pro-Bo folks (who happen to correlate heavily with the pro-Frank folks and the Anti-Steve contingent) wouldn't allow anybody to use similar arguments in describing the Huskers' 2004 campaign. To use the same arguments they so recently railed against would be oh-so hypocritical. Don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing Bo. I think he's a fine coach. I just don't think he proved himself to be any more fantabulous than anybody else. His defense lost big games at Nebraska, and his defense lost the biggest of all games at Oklahoma. In other words, he may be great, but he isn't the greatest. For me, I'm witholding judgment about Bo. He needs a few more years within the college game to really prove himself (for good or ill) to me. The same goes for Bill Callahan. But feel free to disagree.

Dear Butch

By: Mr. Wilson on January 5, 2005
Dear Butch: Your sorry attempt to demonstrate irony instead demonstrated only one thing: that you are an ass, but without the integrity. Derek is dead. You may stop kicking him now. --Mr. Wilson

I’m Number 9!

By: Mr. Wilson on January 3, 2005
I can hardly contain my glee: I placed ninth in the December Common Answers contest put on by Kevin Stone over at Brainbashers. Ninth place may not sound too exciting to you, but 9th out of 670 entrants is pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. For those of you who don't know, a Common Answers contest usually consists of 10 questions. Your goal on each question is to give a correct answer most likely to be chosen by the most other entrants. For example one of the questions in last month's contest was: Name a number from 1 to 31 which represents a day in December. The whole contest had a Christmas theme, so obviously (to me) 25 is what most people would answer. As it turns out, I was correct. I chose the #1 answer on all but Question #5 (#2 answer) and Question #6 (#4 answer). Now that you know about it, go ahead and enter this month's contest. You know you want to.

Babies Make Christmas More Fun

By: Mr. Wilson on December 27, 2004
Lately I have become a bit too cynical about Christmas. Or, rather, the Holiday Season. After all, it's not Christmas itself that bothers me. It's all the hype that surrounds Christmas -- the commercialism, the stress, the gimme-gimme attitudes, the bitching from the Left, the whining from the Right... And then there's that whole Jesus thing. The poor Kid isn't even in most peoples' Top 10 Reasons for the Season any more. Enter a baby's first Christmas. If there's anything that can make Christmas fun, this is it. My 8-month-old niece didn't have a clue what all the fuss was about, but boy did she love it! Granted, babies don't solve most of the Holiday Season's problems, but they are great at bringing a family together to have one heckuva nice day. There are a couple downsides of having babies at Christmas: you spend a whole lot of money on 'em, and they couldn't care less because they just want to play with the bows and wrapping paper; and they get all the cool stuff, reminding you that yes, you really are an adult now. It was Daisy's first Christmas, too. A baby AND a puppy, both sharing their first Christmas. Folks, it doesn't get much cooler than that. I got everything I wanted -- and more than I needed -- for Christmas. Thanks everybody! The Unexpected Gift of the Year came from my parents. My brother-in-law and I both got a shiny new shop vac with detachable leaf blower. Three horses of raw sucking power! ::cue Tim Allen-style grunts:: I may pull 'er out this afternoon to blow the leaves out of my gutters. That will be WAAAY easier than plucking 'em out by hand. I suppose I should go start on my chores. The Missus and I need to get the house cleaned up before we head off to ABQ tomorrow morning. There are few things more annoying than coming home to a dirty house after a trip.

Smooth as a Baby’s Butt

By: Mr. Wilson on December 25, 2004
I am officially bald, ladies and gentlemen. I scalped myself this morning. I can't say I notice anything different. Well, except for the blood. There was lots and lots of blood. I should've used a razor intended for heads, not the cheap-ass thing I found in a drawer. Everything went just fine until I got to the base of my skull on the back of my head. That baby bled for quite a while. I probably won't try the bald look again any time soon. It's not that I don't like it -- after all, it isn't like my hair provides all that much coverage even when it's "long" -- but the maintenance would be a pain in the butt. The great thing about my usual 'do is that maintenance is only required every third week or so. If I went bald, I'd probably have to shave every other day. Nah, too much work.

The Priest and the Rabbi

By: Mr. Wilson on December 23, 2004
A rabbi and a priest met at the town picnic and began their usual "kibitzing." "This baked ham is just delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really should try some. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful thing should be forbidden. You just don't know what you're missing. You haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Kennedy's baked ham. Tell me rabbi, when are you going to break down and try a little ham?" The rabbi looked at the priest, smiled and said, "At your wedding."

Giving Stuff

By: Mr. Wilson on December 23, 2004
I have yet to figure out why, but every week I read The Fever Swamp over at National Review Online. One line from this week's entry really grabbed me:
...while Christmas is about God becoming Man and divine love and all that, the "holiday season" has become almost solely about giving children stuff for the sake of giving them stuff. (emphasis in the original)
How true. Except for one thing: the "giving stuff for the sake of giving stuff" doesn't stop with children.
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