There Oughtta Be a Law

By: Mr. Wilson on July 5, 2012
6 comments
Mark it down, ladies and gentlemen. I'm quick to condemn others who shout "There oughtta be a law!" at the drop of a hat just because they don't like something. But today I'm going to be one of those people. So mark it on your calendars because this won't happen very often. What's got me so riled up? Sky lanterns. You may have seen them or even launched one within the past few days. A sky lantern is a sort of poor-man's hot air balloon. You ignite a flame underneath a flimsy canopy, and when the air inside the canopy heats up enough, the whole thing floats into the sky. En masse and in the appropriate setting I'm certain they're pretty cool. One at a time -- the way I saw them used yesterday -- they're pretty underwhelming. It shouldn't take long to figure out why they're so awful. Sky lanterns are basically floating fireballs carried aloft on the breeze. Their flames continue as long as they have fuel. And these aren't little tiny flames; these are big-enough-to-cause-some-damage flames. Some folks at our gathering launched a sky lantern in my parents' cul-de-sac. There was a gentle breeze from the south at the time. The lantern went up about 15 feet as it floated gently toward the south. At first it appeared it would continue gaining elevation. It didn't. It leveled out and continued out of the cul-de-sac toward a commons area. There it crashed firmly among the branches of a tree, some 15-20 feet up. Its fuel continued to burn. And burn. We watched it for a few moments. Thank goodness the tree was green. Had the lantern instead chosen to crash into the dying pine tree 50 feet to the east we would have had our hands full. Eventually we got a hose and I was able to spray out the flame. That lantern could have crashed into all kinds of flammable things: dry leaves, grass, trash, or a house or other structure. And it could have done so far enough away from its launch point that its launchers wouldn't be able to do anything about it -- or even know about it so they could warn someone. These aren't abstract, it-probably-wouldn't-really-happen fears. They're entirely predictable and likely consequences of a dangerous and irresponsible product. I hate to be "that guy", but... There oughtta be a law.

Comments

See what your friends and neighbors have to say about this.

Karin Dalziel
July 5, 2012 at 2:27PM

We bought sky lanterns, but didn’t end up releasing them because the wind was too strong. Last year, the air was so still, they just went up and up and up.  In that case, they don’t come down till the fuel had run out (one actually landed in front of our house, it was cool when it landed.)

I bet they’ll be outlawed by next year, there was a push to get them outlawed for this year. After the fireworks last night, I wouldn’t be upset at all if they outlawed all fireworks in the city. 😛

George
July 5, 2012 at 3:11PM

This came up in our conversation last night as well when something identical happened.  We had one we were going to light off, but opted to not do so after seeing it get stuck in a tree.

Cedric Satterfield
July 5, 2012 at 3:54PM

Tangled, the Disney movie

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