Thank goodness the Ray's Lawn Care / Ken Svoboda
median mess is over. Well, pretty much over, anyway. Ray's is out a couple tens of thousands of dollars and they've taken a heck of a P.R. hit, but at least this can all be put behind us now. I hope.
We Lincolnites need to ask ourselves if it's really worth the trouble to keep trying to have pretty medians. How many plants can actually survive among the poor soil and pollution present in a median? And of those that can survive, how many are actually pretty enough that we want them there?
Personally, I very strongly prefer planted medians over concrete medians. Concrete is ugly. Concrete buckles and cracks. Concrete is boring.
Here's my plan for the city's plantable medians: they should be put up for adoption. I propose a program not unlike the Adopt-a-Road and Adopt-a-Trail programs we are all familiar with. Anybody -- a business, an individual, a club, a neighborhood association -- can "adopt" a segment of median, from one block up to as much as they can reasonably handle. Any applicant would have to explain their plan for the median, and they would have to prove their ability to keep the median in good shape. Applicants could plant flowers or grass; they could plant trees (where appropriate); they could put up sculptures (assuming they are safe); or they could even arrange rocks and other items in artsy or geometric patterns. Signage would clearly indicate each segment's maintainer(s). Thus, businesses and groups could use the program as a P.R. booster. And if their median is ugly and ill-maintained? Those signs suddenly cause people to say, "Boy,
Business X sure doesn't care about our community!".
One problem: there would have to be rules governing the sorts of messages that could be conveyed in the medians. Can a business advertise in the median? Can the churches along Church Row on 84th Street litter the entire stretch with messages like "JESUS SAVES!"? Can a political party decorate the medians with elephants or donkeys? The rules would probably have to prohibit words. What about logos? I suppose this sounds like a complicated problem, but I think a reasonable policy could be constructed if you sat a group of Lincolnites around a table for an hour or two and let them hash it out.
Another alternative -- a simpler alternative -- is to just pave over all the medians around town. Blah. I hope we don't have to do that.