PG-13 language ahead.
Here's the scenario: The intersection is 14th and O. The 14th Street light is green and the pedestrian walk signal is active. Five pedestrians -- three adults, two children under the age of 3 -- are preparing to cross O Street from south to north. One vehicle is on 14th Street preparing to turn east (right) onto O Street. The question: Who has the right of way?
The correct answer is "The vehicle, dummy! Pedestrians are scum and must always stay out of the way of cars. If a pedestrian is hit by a vehicle, it is the pedestrian's fault."
Well, I think that's the answer. That's what a driver communicated to me on Saturday.
You see, The Missus, Robbie, and I were leaving Sesame Street Live at Pershing Center. So were the mother and young son also waiting with us at the intersection. When the walk signal illuminated I did what came natural: I began to cross the street. But having worked Downtown for years I also did what pedestrians unfortunately have to do: I checked my peripheral vision for idiot drivers. I spotted the small SUV to my left immediately. He showed no signs of stopping. I hate idiot drivers, so I knew what I had to do. I kept walking, though at a pace that would only get me near the vehicle, not underneath it. As the vehicle (illegally) passed in front of me, I made very loud and forceful contact with the side of the door. Don't worry, I wasn't hurt and neither was the vehicle. The driver, however, was startled.
He stopped his car in the middle of O Street and got out. "Watch where you're going, asshole!", he yelled. See that? I was an asshole for being a law-abiding pedestrian in a pedestrian-heavy urban environment. I didn't give the man the pleasure of a confrontation. I never broke stride and I didn't look back as I continued across the street. For all I know he could still be standing there.
I know I was no saint in this situation, but I did achieve the one thing I set out to achieve: I caused the driver to stop (literally, in this case) and realize that something had happened. If nothing had happened as a result of his illegal, unsafe, and immoral actions -- if he had never heard a loud WHUMP!, stopped the car, and gotten out to yell at the evil pedestrian -- the odds of him changing his behavior were near zero. Instead, I increased the odds to slightly better than zero. He may hate silly pedestrians like me, but at least now he thinks about pedestrians. It's a start.
Had one of the two young boys at 14th and O on Saturday gotten too eager at the sight of the "walk" signal, he would be dead or injured today. Please don't be an idiot driver. And if you happen to know an idiot driver, correct him before his idiocy gets somebody hurt.
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See what your friends and neighbors have to say about this.
I mistakenly thought I was a lone foot soldier in the SUV slapping war. I use both hands, palm out, with my fingers as open as possible. That makes a satisfying smack on rigid surfaces like windows and a delightful thud on sheet metal.
We should make t-shirts!
When we were younger, I remember if we were riding bikes (or walking across the street) and a car came close you would kick/hit it. Never enough to do any damage, just hard enough to make a point.
Because of you I have a similar story to tell. When I lived closer to the Med Center, I would always ride my bike. Usually I’d have no problems, as there was only one intersection that was decently busy. I was riding my bike in the crosswalk when an orange van decided he didn’t want to stop to let me cross before making a left turn (which would have been the correct procedure). So I had to slam on my brakes, and then I kicked the back side of his van. Again, no dent, just hard enough to make a point.
So I thought that was the end of the story.
I made it about a half mile away from the intersection and am riding on the right side of the street when I hear tires squealing, and suddenly the orange van is beside me. He pretty much cuts me off and I have to stop and hop up on the curb. Through the van windows I see he is getting out, and I instantly think go whichever way he doesn’t go. He hops out runs to the back of the van while yelling every R rated thing under the sun. I don’t understand most of it, since I’m pedaling away yelling “Learn how to drive moron/idiot/<bleep><bleep><bleep>” repeatedly.
He gets back in his van, and doesn’t bother chasing me down again, so I didn’t have to take all sorts of random streets back home.
I don’t think it will change his driving habits, but to me it was worth it since it got his attention. Thankfully he didn’t have a gun (this is Omaha after all).
I like the T-shirt Idea:
PAID = People Against Idiot Drivers
I did something very similar in a parking lot.
I was walking out of a store with my girlfriend at the time and we were on our way to the car. We were walking behind the parked cars and all the sudden one started to pull out while we were directly behind it. I gave the car a nice smack on the backside and continued to walk out.
The gentleman got out and said he was displeased with the way that I hit his car. I calmly told him to watch where he was going.
When we were younger…
Thank you for not saying “when we were young”! You know, now you’ve got me thinking. Do you know who first got me started smacking cars? Cracker and Dr. Ted. It’s all their fault.
Because of you I have a similar story to tell.
Oh lord. This can’t end well.
::reads story::
I was right 😊
You provided a service to the community by hitting that car. As you said, it made the offender at least think for a few seconds about what they had done. With any luck, they will start to get the idea that pedestrians have the right of way in that situation.
Of course, we may be thinking differently had the driver pulled out a gun and shot you, but he didn’t, so we can talk about it here.
You can add me to the club who likes to get the point across to drivers who are oblivious to pedestrians. I had to put my foot into a door while biking this summer, and in the past have scraped up a door or two with my bar ends. Each time, I scared the people who were driving, but since they almost ran me over, I felt OK doing it. And I feel like I did them a favor; a less-aware rider could have been run over, causing a lot of problems for the driver.
Of course, bicycles being ridden in a crosswalk have no right of way. To gain legal right of way you must dismount and walk your bike across the crosswalk. Pedestrians have legal right of way, but they must be afoot.
Very, very similar story here. Walking on my own in a South Pointe parking lot, I was directly in back of a car as it started backing up. I smacked the car with my hand and told the driver to watch what he was doing. He scowled, but didn’t say anything. I know I surprised him.
This has happened to me many times…now i know what to do. THANKS!!!
On a less legal topic, one of my friends always parked in one of our un-video-monitered parking garages in the city. He got so angry at the jerks taking up two parking spots with their beemers and lexuses (is that plural for lexus?) he would key the words “i use two parking spaces” on the roof of the car…
I wouldn’t have the guts to do that…but it’s funny none the less
Actually, that isn’t funny at all, it’s vandalism.
it may be vandelism, but what they were doing is stealing if you want to look at it that way, unless they paid double for their parking garage ticket…
still funny because their arrogance got them what they deserved.
So let’s look at it that way then. First let’s assume that enforcement of the law is your job, which it isn’t. Say the rich, arrogant, a-hole BMW driver was double-parked for a day. That’s $6 that he owes the Lincoln parking folks, presuming he paid for the one spot. On the low end, it will cost around $500 to repair and refinish his hood. It’s becoming less funny by the hundred dollars.
First of all, it wasn’t me who did this, nor do I think it’s right, (it would be appalling if this were a city problem), nor do I assume it would be a comfortable expierence for the a-hole who finds his car…yet, if you do not find this funny (or god forbid get offended by me finding a little humor in the antidote) i might suggest getting a little humor check.
Lets see if any of these would be funny if they would happen.
1. USC’s quaterback getting a sprained ankle the week after beating the Huskers, causing them to loose.
2. The president of the NRA getting accidentally shot in the leg during a hunting trip.
3. Watching the guy the bullied you in 8th grade (I assume your attitude isn’t new, and I assume it caused you a lot of trouble in middle school) run face first into a glass door.
4. The cheerleader girl that dumped you in front of all her friend for the frat boy (keeping on the high school theme), sniffling in the corner because she just got dumped.
5. A drunk person, who just hit another car, stepping out of his car and being hit by a drunk driver.
These things aren’t GOOD things, people get their feeling hurt, I wouldn’t condone them…but damn it, it sure does make me chuckle…
and lastly… lighten up Dave…unless you are the arrogant Beemer type
1. No
2. No
3. Yes
4. No, but seeing her working a corner 5 years later would be
5. Yes
Even if these were all knee-slapping hilarious, none of them involve illegal activity. Illegal activity can be funny, but vandalizing someone’s car over a parking spot is not.
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