A Windstream representative came to the door tonight to, in his words, "lower peoples' monthly bills". A salesman trying to sell cheaper products to existing customers? Sounds good to me. Of course, that was just his foot in the door. Most of the rest of his spiel was standard door-to-door sales talk.
Of course, if that's all he did I wouldn't be writing this. Unfortunately, "D.R." violated a few rules. Future door-to-door salesmen of the world, take note.
First, if the person who answers the door is obviously home alone with his kids, a good salesman will offer to come back later, or he will at least keep his visit as short as possible. My kid is only going to let me stay at the door for so long before he bonks his head, tries to eat the dog's bone, or does something else that requires me to ignore the guy at the door. Robert is a pretty low-maintenance kid, but he still demands my attention.
Second, a good salesman will never lie, and he will never try to bullshit his way through a conversation on a topic he knows very little about. In D.R.'s case, for example, he made elementary mistakes like confusing megabits and megabytes, arguing that 3 Mbps is greater than 7 Mbps, and going off on a weird tangent about how "the whole Internet relies on phone lines", which proves that DSL is better than cable. I was waiting for him to call the Internet "a series of tubes", but he stopped short. A good salesman will either admit that he doesn't know something and offer to contact me later, or he'll wander his way around the topic, sticking to the stuff he does know, while doing his best to convince me that he answered my question.
Third, and probably most importantly, salespeople really shouldn't advocate breaking federal law when trying to sell their products. People use broadband to illegally download music and movies. We all know that. Many people have done it, from kids to retirees. But that doesn't mean you should openly advocate using your company's 3 Mbps DSL plan to "download music, download movies (illegally, of course)". I made sure to remember that quote.
Last, don't ask me for a pen so that I can write down your contact information so that you can earn a commission if I decide to go for one of the products at a later date. Why the heck should I give you a pen so that I can write down your contact info? Don't you think you should carry a pen with you? Or better yet, have some business cards handy? Sheesh.
In the end, poor D.R. didn't make a sale. He tried, and he was nice enough. He may have even had me if he had stopped with the $5/month phone service upgrade. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there. Now if only I could get a lawn service guy to come by the house. My yard looks awful. If anybody out there can make my yard look better than, say, the medians on 84th Street (zing!), I may have a sale for you.
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Oh man that just sounds like a disaster, especially the parts about downloading illegally and the pen. Poor kid.
Why on Earth would a “telecommunications” company rely on door-to-door selling? Of course, when I think of cutting edge technology, I don’t think of a 50-year old green truck sitting in a field, either. We really had a pretty good thing going with Lincoln Telephone/Alliant. It’s just gotten messy now. And, since I’m on another rant, do we need FOUR PHONEBOOKS in a town this size? Just how many trees have to die?
Time Warner uses the same practices. Last fall, me and the (now) Mrs. were obviously busy working on something in the garage, but we had the garage door open. This yahoo walks right in and launches into his pitch. And if I remember right, it was after 9 p.m. Same has happened when I’ve been out busily working away in the yard. That really chaps me.
I always ask people if they have their solicitor’s permit. One of the things I used on a weekly basis. If they cannot produce the permit on the spot… well, you know.
No ... I don’t know. Do you beat them up? Hit them with pepper spray? That would be totally awesome. Post a sign that says ‘No solicitations’ and then attack with pepper spray if anyone violates. I think you could easily argue self defense. It was posted, after all. For really dramatic effect, and if it was a Michael Bay movie, you could toss said perps through a huge plate glass window onto a crowded sidewalk. That would be awesome, too.
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