Lincolnite

Hey Mr. Wilson - Some new health news came out over the weekend you should be aware of. Perhaps its time for you to get our eyes checked?

I just purchased a Targus Universal IR Keyboard for my palm pilot. This is a piece of shit. Why? 1) The key placement is really awkward and particularly the space keys. 2) There are no up or down keys and instead there is a mini-mouse that really just acts as a scroller. To move the cursor you have to use your stylus. So instead of typing, be prepared to hold you stylus in your mouth (seriously) because if you want to move around a lot in your text you'll have to stop typing and use the stylus instead. Very annoying. 3) It holds your PDA very delicately with these three thin plastic holders. I haven't taken this on a plane yet (but intend to for an upcoming trip) and I am worried that the movement of the plane will shake the PDA out of the holders and onto the floor. The only good thing about is that its portable. I'll use it more and see if my attitude about this piece of crap changes, but one thing is for sure - first impression is that this was not a good buy (there are very mixed reviews on amazon and other sites).

Have you ever removed a cement patio? I'm in the process right now. It isn't fun. Oh, the exercise is good. I haven't used my upper body like this in ... well, ever. But damn, all that pounding with a sledge hammer really gets to you after a while. I reached a milestone today: I'm officially half-way there. After that I need to lower the base about two inches, level it out, put in four inches of gravel and an inch of sand, and then I can start to lay brick. This new brick patio had better be worth it!

Lincolnite.com's resident mascot and inspirational tour de force Pat Deuel is still on a roll. Now that summer has arrived, we hope that Pat will take advantage of the good weather and continue to exercise and lose more weight. Pat - if you are reading this - please know that our Deuel Watch research staff has your back buddy!

I had to drop off some things on campus today in the same building that Mr. Wilson works and decided to swing by his cubicle and surprise him. Nice cubicle Mr. Wilson. Your 6'x6' space fits you perfectly!

I will be the first to admit that in the past few months, I have become obsessed with the debate over John Bolton's confirmation as UN ambassador.* After this deal over federal court appointees, it looks likely that Bolton will get through to the post. Today, George Voinovich broke down into tears in an emotional episode emphasizing his opposition to the placement. Tomorrow, more debate is to occur, and possibly even a vote, although the Dems are now trying to tie things up procedurally. Damn, why watch reality TV when the Bolton hearings have been ten times more exciting? Its better than Lost! *Yes, I know it is pathetic.

It's a little frightening how many 80's commercials I remember.

I let Daisy out shortly before I left for work. For some reason I decided to step into the back yard with her. And there, wandering across the yard, was one of these. He appeared to be an adolescent. He was wounded; he didn't put any weight on his front-right leg. Unfortunately, I lost track of him when I ran inside to grab a camera and to tell the Missus to look outside.

Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-Al.) is ticked off at Bill Maher, accusing him of treason. Maher's offense? He made a joke about the military's recent troubles fulfilling recruiting goals by saying "We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit, and now we need warm bodies." That may well be the least treasonous thing Bill Maher has said in years. Methinks Mr. Bachus needs to get a life.

Recently, somebody presented to me a deeply flawed analogy defending the smoking ban in Lincoln. I pointed out that the analogy was flawed and came up with my own. I kind of like this analogy, but I'm sure it isn't perfect. I'm a pretty mediocre analogy-maker. What I'm asking is for you, faithful readers, to critique this analogy and help me make it better. Here it is:

You invite all your neighbors over to a party in your basement. Your neighbors know you throw great parties, so they all want to come. The problem is, you'll be showing a Husker game on your 55" plasma HDTV, but most of your neighbors are Notre Dame fans. A few of your Notre Dame fan neighbors respect your rights as the party-thrower to show the Husker game rather than the concurrent Notre Dame game; some will go to your party anyway, and some will just decide to stay home or go elsewhere. But the rest of your neighbors are jerks. They think that since you offered them an invitation to your party, they get to control what happens at the party. They call you up before the party and say: "We took a vote. Two-thirds of us want to watch the Notre Dame game, so we're going to watch the Notre Dame game." You are furious, and rightfully so. What gives them the right to say what YOU show on YOUR television at YOUR party? If they don't like it, they don't have to come! There are plenty of parties out there; why don't they go to a different one that happens to be showing a Notre Dame game? Why don't they have their own Notre Dame party? Why didn't they at least /ask/ you to show the Notre Dame game instead of the Husker game? At least then you would have known that their feelings were strong, and that if you wanted them to come, you would probably have to show a different game. But at least you would get to have a say in the matter. You don't have many options. You could cancel the party, but you already spent so much money on food and party favors. You could put up a fight, but you don't really have the energy, and you don't want to alienate your neighbors. Plus, you don't want to get in trouble with the neighborhood association, the Board and President of which are mostly Notre Dame fans. Or you could quietly give in and watch your private property rights slowly erode. But at least you still get to have a party. Your Fighting Irish neighbors had a heckuva good time at your party, eating your food, watching your TV. Meanwhile, you and your closest friends -- the ones you really were holding the party for in the first place, were forced to sit outside in the rain, watching the game on a fuzzy 12" black & white TV. But at least the majority got its way, right?

Mark your calendars: I will die on Sunday, September 1, 2069.

I must be cranky today. I used variations of the word "fuck" twice in the previous post. I try not to swear much on this blog. Swearing, especially in writing, doesn't bother me, but it bothers a lot of people. And it would bother my parents, were they ever to stumble across my little corner of the blogosphere. I try not to do things that threaten my share of the inheritance, y'know. It's all Ted Stevens's fault. Fuck the fucking fucker for fucking making me say fuck so fucking much. Heh, any English majors care to diagram that sentence?

I'm speechless. If $1.5M bus stop doesn't convince the American public how fucked up Congress (and Republicans) (and the federal government in general) is, then nothing will. I liked it better when I was young and unaware of these giant fuck-ups.

As reported today in the LJS: Ten days after the May 3 election, the chairman of the Lancaster County Republican Party sent an e-mail to ousted City Councilman Terry Werner in which he taunted Werner for losing his council seat and said "having a private eye follow you was a joy." Haga's e-mail read, in part: "Let this be a wakeup call to you. The voters of Lincoln wisely rejected your socialist agenda. If needed, we could have addressed your driving record (having a private eye follow you was a joy), . . . and more. Had you been a good Democrat and not a socialist, you might have been re-elected." Chairman Jim Haga acknowledged to a reporter Tuesday he wrote the e-mail "in anger" but said he regretted it. Haga declined to comment on whether he hired an investigator, saying, "I'm not going to address that . . . To me it's not even a news story." He later told a Journal Star editor that he didn't hire a private investigator. What an idiot.

Pork. Massive, steaming piles of pork. Will Bush veto over a measley (*snort*) $10B difference? It seems he will, but we'll have to wait and see.