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Dave K is a Troublemaker
Posted: 23 October 2006 06:57 AM  
Administrator
Total Posts:  89
Joined  2004-07-27

How are you feeling today, Dave K?

Lincolnite regular Dave K had a close encounter of the cleated kind yesterday, when the opposing goalkeeper in a Lincoln Adult Soccer Association match decided to take out some frustration with a kick to his gut. The goalkeeper got sent to the parking lot, and Dave K got buckled in half. Fortunately, LASA is much more mellow than it used to be, so the teams exchanged words, but nobody else got themselves kicked out. But boy, if that had happened up in Omaha in one of their Latino League matches…

I’ll let Dave K fill in the details on why the goalkeeper didn’t care for him, if he so chooses. I know what I saw from my position as assistant referee (nothing much), and I know what the goalkeeper claimed happened. But what’s the truth, Dave? Inquiring Lincolnites want to know! grin

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Posted: 23 October 2006 11:44 AM   [ # 1 ]  
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Total Posts:  20
Joined  2006-04-14

I was going to send you an email to get your take, and then I saw this thread. 

In my 20+ years of playing soccer at many different levels, I’ve never been karate-chopped to the groin before.  In fact, I’ve rarely been on the field for events that I would classify as assault.  Yesterday was one of those times.  For whatever reason, most of the players on that team (but two in particular) had been threatening to injure me since the start of the first time we played them, which was last Wednesday.  The guy who played left back, wearing the Patriots stocking cap was one of them.  The other, who was a little bit more kind yesterday, had threatened me throughout Wednesday’s game.  Their goalie, the one who went Bruce Lee on my man region, wasn’t at Wednesday’s game.  However, he does have a history of violence, as he once kicked the ball directly into the face of one of my teammates, and threatened to hurt the same guy this season after our team scored a goal on him in another game.  The goalie’s anger at me originated from a play that happened only a few minutes before, when I (playing striker) went in for the ball that the keeper got to simultaneously.  I inadvertently tapped the ball while he loosely had it cradled in his arms.  This, apparently to him and most of his teammates, should have resulted in a red card for me and banishment from soccer worldwide.  But the referee disagreed, as not even a foul was called on the play (rightfully). 

A couple plays later, I get a through ball and am heading towards goal.  The goalie makes no play on the ball, and karate chops me in the groin.  Fortunately, it wasn’t a direct hit on the jewels, as the kick started on the inner part of my thigh and made its way to the other thigh, glancing the important area.  To my disappointment, it took the referee more than one second to pull the red card out.  Nonetheless, he did it, and it was the right call.  There was quite a bit of shouting between teams, and although it may not have looked like it, I kept my cool.  In a previous soccer life, I would not have been so cool.  My style of play lends me to be hacked and taken out from behind many times per game, but I’ve never before had something like this happen.  I don’t get what it is with the guys on Ropers and Woodhouse, but some of them are incredibly cheap, and act like they’ve never played soccer before.  Since we’ve now beaten them twice by a combined score of 8-2, that may not be far from the truth.

The result of this is distinctive cleat mark, going from my left mid-thigh to my right inner thigh, with corresponding developing bruises.  Luckily, my man parts made it unscathed (I think the cold helped with that).  I will photograph this for my personal records, and for LASA officials in case they want to see it.  As I mentioned to you right after this happened, that keeper should not be allowed to play in LASA ever again.  I’ve had my fair share of yellow and red cards throughout the years, and I do like to talk throughout the game, but I’ve never tried to hurt someone.  Kicking someone in the balls, especially on that type of play where serious injury could have resulted, is grounds for permanent expulsion from the league.  In fact, had I been seriously injured, the keeper would be facing assault charges. 

As for how I’m feeling, I feel fine.  I’m a little sore both from the game and in the area I was kicked.  But no injuries. 

A couple of notes:  I wish the cleats would have gotten me in the chest or stomach, as everyone had thought.  I’d then have cool cleat marks to show people.  Also, ‘troublemaker’??  Sure, I talk a lot , but that’s never grounds for physical retaliation and is a part of any game.

Finally, what did the keeper claim happened?  What he said will probably make me laugh.

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Posted: 23 October 2006 12:30 PM   [ # 2 ]  
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Total Posts:  89
Joined  2004-07-27

Nothing personal meant by “troublemaker”, Dave. T’was all tongue-in-cheek. I’ve seen you be a troublemaker in previous seasons, and yesterday you were not a troublemaker. In fact, everybody played pretty cleanly throughout the match. Well, almost everybody.

As for the keeper’s take on the situation, I think he was saying that you made contact with his face. The referee, who had a pretty nice angle on the play, didn’t think that was true, or he would have called a foul on you (and probably dished out a yellow card). So I wonder if it was the ball that hit his face, and he blamed you for that. Maybe. I know only two things about the keeper for certain: 1) he perceived that something happened; and 2) he was grouchy from the start of the match, especially compared to the light mood almost everybody else seemed to be in.

-----

Some general information:

What happens after a player is shown the red card and sent off?  First, there’s an automatic one-game suspension, no ifs, ands, or buts. Anything on top of that comes from: 1) the local league, which has control over who can play within its structure; and 2) the Nebraska State Soccer Association, which controls who can play in certified games within the state. The referee on the match submits a report to both organizations containing the facts of the case, and that’s all. Referees don’t get to make recommendations about suspensions or anything like that. However, in special circumstances referees may be asked to provide more information that will help the organizations determine an appropriate punishment. There may even be hearings before a panel.

Now, if an individual wanted to have a say in all of this, the best way to do that would probably be to send a letter to both the local club and the NSSA. If I were writing such a letter, I would be brief (but complete), I would be factual, I would abstain from hyperbole, and I would definitely refrain from using language that would look like a personal attack against the offender. I wouldn’t demand a specific outcome because I know that the demand would be ignored. (And for good reason. Punishments should be left to those who are tasked with being impartial.) I would, however, urge the recipients of the letter to closely evaluate the facts of this specific case, and to review prior complaints (if any) made against the offending party. I would request personal contact from the organizations as soon as possible to discuss the matter further. And I would use spellcheck.

But that’s just me.

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Posted: 23 October 2006 02:00 PM   [ # 3 ]  
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Total Posts:  20
Joined  2006-04-14

I wish I can deny your statement about previously being a troublemaker, but I can’t.  I’ve never played dirty or tried to hurt anyone, but I used to run my mouth a lot more than I do now (that’s probably hard to imagine).  In fact, if I can play another 90 minutes of booking-free soccer, it will be the first entire season I’ve played without getting a card of any color.

I was hoping the keeper’s take was regarding the Chuck Norris move, not the previous play.  I’d like to hear how he explains the kick to the balls.  On the previous play, I’m not sure if the ball bumped up into his face or not, since I was just running past.  I know he whined and cried as if I had just teed off into his mouth knocking his jaw clear off his face, but nothing happened.  This guy, afterall, did chase my teammate to our half of the field after a goal once because he thought my teammate was rubbing the score into his face by celebrating.  I’m not sure what his problem is.  He seems pretty decent, and he had a couple good saves on me before he prematurely departed.  He just seems to be a pissed off grump every time we play him. 

I would send a brief message to NSSA and LASA, but that’s not really my thing.  But maybe I can write about what would have happened had he made direct contact where he intended to, or went for my legs and broke one or destroyed one of my knees.  Especially given the player’s history, if he’s allowed to continue to play and seriously injures or disables a player, LASA would cease to exist, and NSSA would have a few problems as well.  They probably wouldn’t want to see pictures of my junk, so I’ll hold those to a request-only basis.

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Posted: 25 October 2006 07:22 AM   [ # 4 ]  
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Total Posts:  44
Joined  2005-01-07

Yeah that keeper should definitely be punished for the attempted kick to the groin. Please tell me, Dave K, that you were wearing a cup, right? Glad to hear you’re OK.

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Posted: 25 October 2006 07:42 AM   [ # 5 ]  
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Negative on the cup.  I haven’t worn one in a long time.  They were too much of an impedance.  Luckily, it was pretty cool outside, so my berries had retreated like the French at the sight of a Panzer in the Ardennes, and my twig was doing its best impersonation of a Lil Smokie.  Probably more information than anyone wanted to know, but hopefully my description of the events won’t hurt other men so much knowing that it was cold out and my parts were already in self-defense mode.  Nonetheless, if it had been a direct hit, I would have suffered much more damage, frozen jewels or not.

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Posted: 25 October 2006 10:55 AM   [ # 6 ]  
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Total Posts:  44
Joined  2005-01-07

I’m sorry but I’m going to have to issue you a yellow card for that last post Dave K. That was WAY too much information.

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Posted: 26 October 2006 09:34 AM   [ # 7 ]  
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Total Posts:  54
Joined  2005-11-23
Dave K - 25 October 2006 07:42 AM

Negative on the cup.  I haven’t worn one in a long time.  They were too much of an impedance.  Luckily, it was pretty cool outside, so my berries had retreated like the French at the sight of a Panzer in the Ardennes, and my twig was doing its best impersonation of a Lil Smokie.  Probably more information than anyone wanted to know, but hopefully my description of the events won’t hurt other men so much knowing that it was cold out and my parts were already in self-defense mode.  Nonetheless, if it had been a direct hit, I would have suffered much more damage, frozen jewels or not.

Ewwwww!  TMI! TMI!

Hilarious description.  Probably a little too vivid, but hilarious!

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Posted: 26 October 2006 10:21 AM   [ # 8 ]  
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You’re lucky it wasn’t a direct hit.  Have you ever seen what happens when you take a hammer to something dipped in liquid nitrogen?

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