The Top 8 reasons why Dana Altman did not stay at Arkansas
Reasons why Dana Altman did not stay at Arkansas:
8. His children (one boy and one girl) would have had to become engaged.
7. Nike has announced that they are canceling their sponsorship of Arkansas basketball when they learned that the players have been cutting the soles out of the shoes so that they can play barefooted and only wear the tops.
6. He would have had to hire an assistant coach who was a parole officer
5. The Arkansas offer was in Confederate dollars
4. The Pope told him he couldn’t go
3. He would have had to pull ½ of his teeth to stay there
2. Arkansas would not allow any new DNA into the state
And the #1 reason why Dana Altman did not stay at Arkansas:....*drumroll*
1. He saw the film of himself doing the hog call and realized how dumb it looked
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