Take a Peek at Lincoln’s Boobs

January 22, 2013 at 2:25pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in The Lincolnite Blog

It’s difficult for me to imagine something I care about less than what waitresses wear at a restaurant. But that’s exactly what’s got many Lincolnites abuzz these days. The cause of concern: a new restaurant called Twin Peaks is coming to the Haymarket. The restaurant chain promises “scenic views” of waitresses in suggestive outfits. It’s Hooters in a mountain lodge setting, though hopefully with better food.

I understand why that gimmick isn’t for everyone. What I don’t understand is the furor it evokes. You’d think the restaurant were proposing to drag in customers kicking and screaming off the streets, or to serve them arsenic and borax once they’re inside. Innocent children skipping merrily along to a production at an adjacent theater will be “forced to see the barely dressed servers as they take food to outdoor diners”. The horror! The real boobs here are the opponents.

There are several things going on here. The first is an inflated sense of entitlement. Opponents of these sorts of establishments want to control their world and yours. They don’t think they should have to be offended as they go about their daily lives. If only! It would be like me fighting to bulldoze every Amigo’s in town.

The second is simple exaggeration to save face. You know the type: the person who goes out of his way to insist he would never eat at such a place and it’s degrading to women and how can they get away with that? and the food is probably terrible anyway. Yet once it opens he’ll wind up going with the guys because Bill wants to go and it’s Bill’s birthday so he gets to pick but I’ll bet the food is terrible and we won’t stay long. Mmm hmm.

The third is a twisted sense of morality. We’re supposed to believe that it’s “obscene” for waitresses to wear short skirts and skimpy tops, yet comparable clothing is worn every day—well, every warm day—at local swimming pools, shopping malls, and college campuses. Comparable clothing is worn every day at many local businesses, not as an official “uniform” but because those who wear it know how much it boosts their tips. Less clothing is used to advertise at stores all around town, including Victoria’s Secret and Doctor John’s, not to mention teen-friendly “clothing” stores throughout Gateway and SouthPointe. Isn’t all of that equally obscene? If you want to talk about obscenity, let’s talk about the rampant alcoholism so proudly encouraged throughout the Haymarket and the broader Downtown area, along with its effects on our community. Let’s talk about all those who put lives at risk while driving drunk; those who destroy their bodies night after night; and the establishments that proudly promote the abuse of America’s favorite and most destructive drug. No kid ever died from seeing boobs.

Establishments like Twin Peaks are supposed to get folks riled up. Their atmosphere is crafted precisely to have that effect. All of these pre-opening bits of media coverage? They play right into the restaurant’s plans. I take quite a bit of pleasure from knowing that the restaurant’s opponents are achieving exactly the opposite of what they want. It’s a classic variation of the Stresisand effect. Serves them right.

If Lincolnites really don’t want this place in our town, fine. But show your contempt using the most effective means possible: silence. A restaurant with no buzz is a restaurant with no customers. Stay away from the joint and the “problem”—if you can even call it that—will eventually take care of itself.

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The Comments

Fletch January 22, 2013 at 4:03pm

This may be the best title you’ve ever had on a blog post.

Fletch January 22, 2013 at 4:07pm

Also, the person that coined the term “breastaurant” ought to be locked up, or banished to an island in the South Pacific, along with the idiot that coined the term, “staycation.”

Just Thinkin' January 22, 2013 at 4:18pm

I wonder if part of the uproar has to do with the TIF financing for the development project. I don’t remember people getting upset when Hooters opened or the Titled Kilt opened in Gateway. Maybe it is because those projects weren’t paid for with public financing. I think people are more inclined to express anger about a business if they believe they have partially funded something they find morally reprehensible.

Just Thinkin' January 22, 2013 at 4:20pm


Mr. Wilson January 22, 2013 at 4:28pm

Well surely the food can’t be any WORSE than Hooter’s.

... right?

Mr. Wilson January 22, 2013 at 4:33pm

I don’t think TIF plays a role here. The uproar is primarily focused on the location. The Haymarket is “protected territory” and this sort of restaurant (supposedly) impinges on that.

TIF should be a larger part of our conversations about development across Lincoln, but I don’t think it’s much of a factor here.

Just Thinkin' January 22, 2013 at 5:00pm

It wouldn’t surprise me if they all ordered their food from the same lab. There probably isn’t a single stove or conventional oven in any of those places, just a wall of microwaves. Can you think of any “breastaurant” known for its excellent food? I don’t think any of them are recommended by Zagat.

Fletch January 22, 2013 at 5:11pm

I actually liked the wings at Hooters. Sue me. As for Tilted Kilt, my wife and I both really enjoyed the food. I thought their spinach and artichoke dip was superior to Lazlo’s. They may not win any awards, but it’s good bar food, and sometimes we just like good bar food.

Mr. Wilson January 22, 2013 at 5:18pm

My biggest problem with Hooters is those nasty wings. To each his own, but man, those things are icky. And I think that’s what colors my impression of the restaurant as a whole—they’re known for their wings; the wings are garbage; therefore the whole joint is garbage.

I’m sure that’s not a fair assessment, but that’s how my brain has sized up the situation. Some people probably say the same thing about Brewsky’s, and I happen to enjoy their wings and find. I guess that’s why there’s more than one restaurant out there grin

Just Thinkin' January 22, 2013 at 10:23pm

Mr Wilson knows how to put the ‘tit’ in title.

Eric January 23, 2013 at 2:17pm

This happened on a smaller scale in the Old Market with a novelty shop that had “sexual” items for sale. Not sure how that turned out but I remember the fight to close them.

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