Passive Aggressive in Lincoln
Midwesterners are masters of passive aggressive behavior. It runs rampant in my quintessentially midwestern family, for example. I know I’m guilty of it now and then. My in-laws, on the other hand, have no use for passive aggressiveness. They’re from New York. If you deserve to have your head chewed off, they’ll chew your head off. Who needs passivity?
Anyway, I mention all this because I was the victim of some neighborly passive aggressive behavior the other day. I woke up to find three tree limbs lying in my yard. They had obviously been cut. Apparently they had hung too low over the sidewalk for the deed-doer’s tastes, so he or she went to the trouble of sneaking out in the middle of the night to perform some amateur bonsai action on my maple tree.
Oddly enough, I had spoken with my father just two days before about the low-hanging limbs. They weren’t so bad in dry weather, but when the leaves were wet, the branches really drooped. My dad has some good saws, so I asked if he could bring them over some day so that we could do some pruning. Apparently my arborist neighbor couldn’t wait that long.
Why couldn’t the mystery trimmer have just said something? I don’t think we give off a “don’t bother us” vibe. And we are outside all the time, so there are plenty of opportunities for a quick “Those limbs are getting low. Would you mind trimming them back?”
Who am I kidding? We passive aggressive types would never go for that. We wouldn’t want to be confrontational; that’s just rude.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go set up some more annoying limbs and install a camera to catch the anonymous snipper in the act. Then I’ll track him down and leave a nasty note on his front door. That’ll teach him! Passive aggressivity to the rescue!
The Comments
Your neighbors says Glad somebody took care of June 18, 2008 at 8:41am
Glad somebody took care of this. We almost had to say something.
Neal says It's also entirely possible your June 18, 2008 at 10:10am
It’s also entirely possible your neighbor was completely willing to ask you to do it, but then thought “Well I’m completely able ... no sense in asking someone else to fulfill my request when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
Mr. Wilson says RE: It's also entirely possible your June 18, 2008 at 10:16am
Perhaps, but if that were the case, why leave the branches laying in the yard? That, to me, is a classic p.a. symptom. It’s saying, “I did something, and I’m making sure you know it was done”.
Someone who lives by you says The tree branches were too June 18, 2008 at 10:39am
The tree branches were too low and causing a hazard. Also, you need to clean up after your dog. I’ll be monitoring you Wilson.
West A Dad says Need more info... June 18, 2008 at 11:01am
Were the branches hanging over the sidewalk on your property or the neighbors?
If they were over your property then you have trespassing and vandalism going on.
If they were hanging over the neighbor’s sidewalk then they had the right to cut them, but they should have asked you to do it.
You are dead on about the p.a. behaviour. I don’t have enough adjectives to describe leaving the branches lay.
We’ll drive down to Hallam and pick up a strangers debris, but we can’t treat our next door neighbors with respect.
Disgusting.
isotope says maybe they left the branches June 18, 2008 at 11:03am
maybe they left the branches because they don’t have garbage service that will haul them away, or the branches were a bit much to drag off to their house, or they felt that you could at least do some small part to take care of the situation
Nikkidemas says That reminds me June 18, 2008 at 11:21am
I’m not condoning your neighbor’s behavior, BUT - this is a good chance to remind everyone to check the branches hanging over their own sidewalk. Whenever I go biking, there are quite a few trees that almost decapitate me if I’m not careful! Bikers need more headroom than walkers!
Mr. Wilson says RE: That reminds me June 18, 2008 at 11:28am
I know what you mean. You’d think I’d be more on the ball since low branches and sidewalk-intruding bushes used to drive me nuts when I was more of a runner and bicyclist.