Lincolnites, M.D.

January 22, 2009 at 3:35pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in The Lincolnite Blog

It’s the second half of January, and that means it’s time for me to get sick! Woohoo! This is becoming an annual tradition.

This year’s symptoms include:

  • Intestinal discomfort. Started yesterday morning, got worse overnight.
  • Muscle aches. Started overnight and this morning.
  • Fatigue, though that could just as well be because I didn’t sleep last night.
  • Light fever, sitting at 100-101, depending on which ear you ask. Noticed it about an hour ago.
  • Chills, presumably because of the fever and the fact that my basement is frickin’ freezing.
  • Added at 1:00pm: Headache, which was there when I woke up from a nap.

So far I would classify this illness as a 3 or 4 on a scale of 0-10 (zero being healthy, 10 being “praying for death”). I have a pretty high tolerance for discomfort, so many people would probably bump that up a notch or two. For comparison, 7 is probably where I start to think about going to the doctor, and I would say the worst I’ve ever felt was an 8, which I hit twice. Once was when I went to the hospital with for heat stroke. The other time was a few years back when I was hit simultaneously by flu, strep throat, bi-lateral ear infections, and bi-lateral conjunctivitis. That was a crappy week.

So what do you think, Lincolnites, M.D.? What’s wrong with me? Did you give it to me? Obscure, exotic diagnoses welcome!

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The Comments

Nikkidemas January 22, 2009 at 4:04pm

There’s not a lot of flu going around.  Still, if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth checking out Google’s flu tracker.

Gene January 22, 2009 at 4:24pm

I hear exposure to breasts makes some people feel unwell… wink

Fletch January 22, 2009 at 4:29pm

According to the TV commercial, I think it’s a snakebite.

Fletch January 22, 2009 at 4:30pm

I think exposure to breasts is a cure, not a disease. In fact, I encourage it.

Peter January 22, 2009 at 4:30pm

Sounds like the Plague.  What part of town do you live in?

Nikkidemas January 22, 2009 at 4:41pm

Have you visited Algeria recently?  It could be the Black Death.

matt ollberding January 22, 2009 at 4:45pm

Cause your symptoms sound a lot like those of salmonella. Fever and intestinal discomfort are two of the symptoms. You didn’t clarify “intestinal discomfort” but if it’s more than just indigestion, coupled with a fever, would be indicative of some kind of stomach bug.

matt olberding January 22, 2009 at 4:46pm

You know it’s a bad day when you can’t spell your own name.

Matt Platte January 22, 2009 at 4:50pm

The cure is, apparently, to paint your skin red, wear red clothes, jump and holler like a maniac for a few hours then hang out in a downtown parking lot eating hot dogs and drinking beer.

Gene January 22, 2009 at 5:03pm

Have you tried more cowbell? wink

Mr. Wilson January 22, 2009 at 5:09pm

I eat peanut butter almost every day so yeah, it could be that. Thing is, though, I can’t recall a time in at least the past week that I ate anything other than Skippy. So far the outbreak has not been associated with major consumer brands of peanut butter.

If there is Evil PB lurking in our house, Robbie and The Missus have ingested it, too.

Regardless, I would rather suffer intestinal discomfort than give up peanut butter. Give me peanut butter or give me ... no, just give me peanut butter.

meatball January 22, 2009 at 5:42pm

I thought there would be no more sickness once Obama took office. Darn!

Dave K January 22, 2009 at 7:21pm

We have Him to thank for this beautiful weather though!

Gene January 22, 2009 at 8:26pm

HA! smile

JT January 23, 2009 at 4:17am

Probably either dropsy or something you might die of on the Oregon Trail.

Get Well Soon

Fletch January 23, 2009 at 1:45pm

Maybe it’s scurvy.

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