Lincolnites, M.D.

By: Mr. Wilson on January 22, 2009
It's the second half of January, and that means it's time for me to get sick! Woohoo! This is becoming an annual tradition. This year's symptoms include:
  • Intestinal discomfort. Started yesterday morning, got worse overnight.
  • Muscle aches. Started overnight and this morning.
  • Fatigue, though that could just as well be because I didn't sleep last night.
  • Light fever, sitting at 100-101, depending on which ear you ask. Noticed it about an hour ago.
  • Chills, presumably because of the fever and the fact that my basement is frickin' freezing.
  • Added at 1:00pm: Headache, which was there when I woke up from a nap.
So far I would classify this illness as a 3 or 4 on a scale of 0-10 (zero being healthy, 10 being "praying for death"). I have a pretty high tolerance for discomfort, so many people would probably bump that up a notch or two. For comparison, 7 is probably where I start to think about going to the doctor, and I would say the worst I've ever felt was an 8, which I hit twice. Once was when I went to the hospital with for heat stroke. The other time was a few years back when I was hit simultaneously by flu, strep throat, bi-lateral ear infections, and bi-lateral conjunctivitis. That was a crappy week. So what do you think, Lincolnites, M.D.? What's wrong with me? Did you give it to me? Obscure, exotic diagnoses welcome!

Comments

See what your friends and neighbors have to say about this.

Nikkidemas
January 22, 2009 at 4:04PM

There’s not a lot of flu going around.  Still, if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth checking out Google’s flu tracker.

Gene
January 22, 2009 at 4:24PM

I hear exposure to breasts makes some people feel unwell… 😉

Fletch
January 22, 2009 at 4:29PM

According to the TV commercial, I think it’s a snakebite.

Fletch
January 22, 2009 at 4:30PM

I think exposure to breasts is a cure, not a disease. In fact, I encourage it.

Peter
January 22, 2009 at 4:30PM

Sounds like the Plague.  What part of town do you live in?

Nikkidemas
January 22, 2009 at 4:41PM

Have you visited Algeria recently?  It could be the Black Death.

matt ollberding
January 22, 2009 at 4:45PM

Cause your symptoms sound a lot like those of salmonella. Fever and intestinal discomfort are two of the symptoms. You didn’t clarify “intestinal discomfort” but if it’s more than just indigestion, coupled with a fever, would be indicative of some kind of stomach bug.

matt olberding
January 22, 2009 at 4:46PM

You know it’s a bad day when you can’t spell your own name.

Matt Platte
January 22, 2009 at 4:50PM

The cure is, apparently, to paint your skin red, wear red clothes, jump and holler like a maniac for a few hours then hang out in a downtown parking lot eating hot dogs and drinking beer.

Gene
January 22, 2009 at 5:03PM

Have you tried more cowbell? 😉

Mr. Wilson
January 22, 2009 at 5:09PM

I eat peanut butter almost every day so yeah, it could be that. Thing is, though, I can’t recall a time in at least the past week that I ate anything other than Skippy. So far the outbreak has not been associated with major consumer brands of peanut butter.

If there is Evil PB lurking in our house, Robbie and The Missus have ingested it, too.

Regardless, I would rather suffer intestinal discomfort than give up peanut butter. Give me peanut butter or give me ... no, just give me peanut butter.

meatball
January 22, 2009 at 5:42PM

I thought there would be no more sickness once Obama took office. Darn!

Dave K
January 22, 2009 at 7:21PM

We have Him to thank for this beautiful weather though!

Gene
January 22, 2009 at 8:26PM

HA! 😊

JT
January 23, 2009 at 4:17AM

Probably either dropsy or something you might die of on the Oregon Trail.

Get Well Soon

Fletch
January 23, 2009 at 1:45PM

Maybe it’s scurvy.

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