The Sound of Sleep

March 22, 2007 at 12:30pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in 625 Elm Street

At this moment I am listening to perhaps the most boring audio recording in the history of audio recordings. (Well, except for anything by John Cage.) It is 8 hours and 8 minutes of the sound of me sleeping. In other words, it’s eight hours of not much of anything.

Why would a guy record himself sleeping? The Missus claims I snore, or breathe heavy, or whistle like a teapot, or something like that. I don’t necessarily doubt that’s true, but sometimes I wonder if her description of the volume of my breathing is a bit ... exaggerated. A couple times she has even accused me of breathing too loud while I was awake and consciously trying not to make a peep. Sometimes I think she just needs to turn down her hearing aids. If she had hearing aids.

More seriously, based on a number of factors I have wondered for years if maybe I have sleep apnea or some mild sleep disorder. An audio recording isn’t exactly the best way to diagnose a sleep disorder, but I figure it’s a start.

So far I haven’t heard anything interesting. I scanned through the recording and I didn’t notice anything too obnoxious. There’s a little light snoring here and there, but nothing that could make the nightstand shake. I’m going to run the file through some audio software to see if I find anything interesting.

And just so this isn’t the most boring thing you read all day, please go read the most boring thing ever written.

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The Comments

beerorkid March 22, 2007 at 3:51pm

oh man that is so awesome.

I for one suffer from “wife says I snore” as well.  She has made recordings of me on a hand held tape recorder.  The thing shakes when you play it back wink  Still I refuse to believe it was me on the recording.

We actually sleep in separate bedrooms.  Which people find so odd.  I love having my own dog free bed to sleep in.  When we go on vacation it is horrible.  She sleeps with her ipod to drown me out.

Neal March 22, 2007 at 3:58pm

When you’re done listening to it, play it backwards and see if you’re a Satan sleeper.

beerorkid March 22, 2007 at 4:12pm

tee he he

Once again excellent cartoon today neal.  Oh and for filling me with fear that the capitol, where I work, will come alive one day wink

A perfect software to view your sleep tape would be audacity, it is free, multi platform, and has the sound waves so you could scan for peaks.

Mr. Wilson March 22, 2007 at 4:23pm

@Neal: Good idea!

@beerorkid: But of course! Audacity needs about 392 usability improvements, but it gets the job done.

Neal March 22, 2007 at 4:43pm

Thanks, beer. Hopefully it’ll get posted sometime today.

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