The Diagnoses

February 22, 2006 at 9:08pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in 625 Elm Street

Are you ready for my official diagnoses (plural)? Here we go:

  • Influenza
  • Ear infection (both ears)
  • Conjunctivitis (pink eye) (both eyes)
  • Strep throat

I had already self-diagnosed the first three. I’ve had my share of ear infections and pink eye over the course of my life, so I recognize those symptoms pretty easily. Strep is a new one for me, though.

I’m pretty ticked at my body’s immune system. This sort of breach of homeland security is inexcusable. I mean, who’s running this operation, the Michael Brown of white blood cells? Any one of those illnesses would be bad enough alone, but all four at once? Unacceptable.

I just fired off an e-mail to work telling them that I won’t be in at all this week. I will probably try to remote in for a couple hours tomorrow and Friday. I have plenty of sick hours, but I don’t want to blow any more of them than I have to.

I just added up all of the calories I’ve consumed this week. Up to now I’ve put only about 1,000 calories into my body, most of those from juice, and I’m not the least bit hungry. That’s a pretty strange reality for somebody who enjoys food as much as I do. Somebody call the all-you-can-eat buffets and tell them to watch out, because if I feel better this weekend, I’m going to have to make up for lost time.

Blah blah blah, enough about me. Hopefully I’ll feel well enough tomorrow to yack about Lincoln again.

Oh, and congrats to the Powerball winners. What an interesting mix of Lincolnites! They made Lincoln look pretty darn good on a national stage. We owe them our thanks. Oh, and we should thank them for all of those tax dollars, too.

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The Comments

D.M.B. February 23, 2006 at 1:47am

pink eye.  in both of them?  you are gonna die aren’t you?

D.M.B. February 23, 2006 at 1:49am

agreed on the powerball winners.  I thought they were a good section of Lincoln.  Some imigrants, young/old.  Hard working.  Loyal.  Most of em been in Nebraska a long time.

Christopher February 23, 2006 at 6:17pm

If microbacteriology taught me anything this year. You have two separate causitive agents, one being an oppurtunistic infection. Basically you either got influenze first (or your other three symptoms first—-they could all be cause by the same bug), then whichever came first, suppressed your immune system, allowing the other bug to come in and play.

D.M.B. February 23, 2006 at 7:45pm

Mr. Wilsons immune system is having a party and everyone’s invited!!!

Mr. Wilson February 23, 2006 at 8:30pm

What am I, the village bicycle?

huskerpilot February 25, 2006 at 3:39pm

Nah, Mr. Wilson, you are the doorknob!

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