Smooth as a Baby’s Butt

December 25, 2004 at 6:45pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in 625 Elm Street

I am officially bald, ladies and gentlemen. I scalped myself this morning. I can’t say I notice anything different. Well, except for the blood. There was lots and lots of blood. I should’ve used a razor intended for heads, not the cheap-ass thing I found in a drawer. Everything went just fine until I got to the base of my skull on the back of my head. That baby bled for quite a while.

I probably won’t try the bald look again any time soon. It’s not that I don’t like it—after all, it isn’t like my hair provides all that much coverage even when it’s “long”—but the maintenance would be a pain in the butt. The great thing about my usual ‘do is that maintenance is only required every third week or so. If I went bald, I’d probably have to shave every other day.

Nah, too much work.

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