See You at the Mall

October 30, 2007 at 8:21pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in 625 Elm Street

It’s official, the Wilsons will be trick-or-treating at Gateway tomorrow night. I apologize ahead of time to the 8 kids who will find our porch light turned off. You aren’t missing much; it’s not like we would have had good candy for you anyway. The real treat would be if The Missus baked you some tasty desserts. But if she were to do that, some moron parent would call the cops on us:

9-1-1: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?
Psychotic Mother: OHMYGOD SOME WOMAN TRIED TO GIVE MY KID DELICIOUS HOMEMADE FOOD!
9-1-1: She didn’t give your kid pre-wrapped, heavily-processed candy?
PM: NO! IT’S HOMEMADE AND WRAPPED IN SARAN WRAP!
9-1-1: Does it contain a dangerous item, such as a needle?
PM: NO, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE IT HAS SOME TRANS FATS!
9-1-1: The SWAT and HAZMAT teams are on the way, ma’am.

Having one count of “alleged attempted poisoning of trick-or-treaters” on our record would make it darn near impossible for us to adopt again.

If you plan to take your kid(s) to Gateway tomorrow, we would love to say hi. Let me know if you plan to be there.

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The Comments

Moses October 30, 2007 at 8:48pm

This is our first year in the new house.  We don’t have any idea how many kids will show up.  So, the possibility that my co-workers an I will have to eat all this stuff we have purchased is giving me a sugar buzz already.

Fletch October 30, 2007 at 9:05pm

This is my third year, but the area’s grown every year and I don’t know what to expect. One child was found to have an allergy this year, so no chocolate being dropped in the bag at our house - which means no delicious leftovers Kit Kats, Crunch bars, Reeses, or Milky Ways. Oh, the humanity! It’s all Mike and Ikes and Starburst and things like that. What’s a parent to do? LOL

beerorkid October 30, 2007 at 10:58pm

we picked up a fund raiser pack of full size candy bars from Sam’s.  The reeses PB cups have 3 cups in them.  The box did have 52 bars in it, I think we are down to 48 now smile

We are the cool house on the block, no question.  Our popularity has increased every year.

For $20 it is totally worth it.  No TP will grace our old tree.

Fletch October 31, 2007 at 4:14am

BorK, I’d kill right now (not actually kill, but you get the idea) for a house full of peanut butter cups. Sounds awesome. I just have this aversion to the thought of one killing (literally) my kid. Starbursts it is! Everyone have a safe and happy Halloween!

beerorkid October 31, 2007 at 4:19am

choc is one of the best legal drugs.  I will pour a dark choc bar for your kin. 

We loves red licorice which does not even need choc smile

beerorkid October 31, 2007 at 4:21am

woops meant pour out like a 40, not pour.
And dark choc is expendable like anything that comes in a 40 wink

Still no choc, darn that is a bummer :(

Moses October 31, 2007 at 2:29pm

Mike and Ike’s and Jujifruits are my favorites to give away.  No possibilities of any allergies to choc, milk, nuts etc.  Just pure sugar…....

Mr. Wilson October 31, 2007 at 2:43pm

No possibilities of any allergies…

Don’t forget allergies to Red 40!

Fletch November 1, 2007 at 4:24am

This is insane. Sorting the candy after the big haul, by far and away the largest amount of Reeses and Reeses-related products I ever remember seeing. Second, but a long way back, was the Kit Kat family. Only 1 Hershey bar, no Twix, and no 3 Musketeers? What’s the world coming to? Pray that my kid doesn’t find the Reeses stash. LOL

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