No Kidding

January 19, 2007 at 1:20pm By: Mr. Wilson Posted in 625 Elm Street

I completely understand why the members of No Kidding would want a social group comprised of people who don’t have kids. Before I was a parent, I noticed that parents’ conversations always tend to drift toward the topic of their children. Now that I’m a parent, I’ve noticed that, yep, my conversations do just that. I probably annoy the beans out of many of my non-parent friends with my yammering about “Robbie did this” or “Robbie did that”. It must be difficult at times being intentionally childless in a community that generally doesn’t “get” why somebody would do such a thing. I’m sure intentionally childless couples have to come up with some of the same sorts of lines to respond to annoying “Why don’t you want kids?” questions that The Missus and I have come up with in regard to Robbie’s adoption.

Are any of you in an intentionally childless relationship? Do you find that folks around here don’t “get” your decision?

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The Comments

beerorkid January 19, 2007 at 2:16pm

That would be me.  Neither of us want children.  It completely baffles some people.  I have come up with some very creative excuses.  Often I feel that not wanting to have children really puts some people off.  Almost like we are gay married, which might be cuz I consistantly refer to my wife as my life partner wink

Never been one to follow what is the norm in many ways.  Dogs fill our needs quite well.

Karin January 19, 2007 at 2:34pm

I am another unintentionally childless person. Not having kids might be the only thing my husband and I do agree on.

Our only friends that have a child are actually quite cool about it- we still go to their house and play video and card games, and they manage to talk about things other than their kid. I have to admit, though, they have one of the best kids I have ever seen.

Our parents seem to get our decision just fine, we don’t get “when are you having kids” questions anymore, except the occasional one from a grandparent, but that’s to be expected.

ST January 19, 2007 at 9:54pm

We are intentionally childless and it is QUITE baffling to most people.  I admire you, Mr. Wilson, for realizing that this is a pretty pro-kid area (not there is anything wrong with that!) compared to some.

We usually fend off the question pretty well, but there are people who just keep pressing.  The rudest thing I ever had said to me was, “You won’t ever really know love until you have had your own child.”  I was stunned for a plethora of reasons, and I can’t really say that I came up with a good comeback because I was trying to suppress the urge to scream.

I agree with BOK’s assessment that a lot of people treat you like a gay couple or like roommates.  Another issue is that you never advance past newlyweds to some people.  Some people we know have started acting as if they are much more “mature” and responsible than we are even though we are older and have been married longer.  We just haven’t reproduced, so I guess our marriage isn’t “real.”  It is bizarre.

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